this pic is from last week and i feel much bigger this week although some people keep telling me they can't even tell i'm pregnant. they have to be kidding, that's a large food belly.
i measured and i'm 34". i wish i had measured more earlier in my pregnancy so i could calculate the rate of growth. there has been loss of mobility on my part, but Baby Angus has been doing flips lately. today at work he was especially active or since i'm usually still at work, i noticed his movement.
i bought a maternity coat this weekend because all indications point to a long and cold winter in colorado. it could be snowing when i go into labor come april. the coat was on sale, big plus.
i also acquired some work pants, which are cute, but don't quite fit enough to stay put on my belly. they tend to slide down because of gravity and wanting to be around the smaller part of my waist. my solution is to walk with my hands in my pockets while i actually am holding the pants at my belly button. i look oh so cool.
that's the excitement on the pregnancy front, more tomorrow after my midwife appointment.
i wish i was a better blogger because the best blogs that i follow are those that have new posts every single day. and if they are witty, funny or thought provoking, even better. which is probably the reason i don't post everyday, i don't have much of interest to say. or i'm lazy. it's a toss up.
since being pregnant, there is a ever growing list of don'ts. here are the ones i miss:
*top on my list has to be sleeping on my stomach. oh the warmth, the coziness of snuggling into myself and shutting out the world.
*next is sleeping on my back. you see i can't sleep on my stomach now for obvious reason of smashing my little baby boy, but apparently sleeping on your back puts the weight of baby on some important artery or veins to your legs. to that i say, who needs blood in the legs while you sleep? as my little burrito is still under a pound, i sneak onto my back every once in while to get some good sleep. i love sleep!
*this prohibited food is hard for me to believe is so bad for the baby. i mean women in japan have been eating sushi for hundreds of years and surely they still have healthy, smart children. it makes my mouth water just looking at that picture. spicy tuna, unagi, salmon, wonderful rolls with raw fish goodness dipped in that salty deliciousness. enough.
*red red wine. do i need to say more?
*running. now this one is up for debate and i have looked at plenty of websites that say running while pregnant is fine as long as you were a runner before you got knocked up, which i was. the problem is that this is the everlasting belief that a pregnant woman should relax and not overexert herself is widely held by most physicians, husbands, and women who write pregnancy books. yes my husband does not think i should run anymore until after the birth because of high heart rates and physicians. i might need to do more research to support the run through pregnancy theory, but think about women crossing the great plains or crossing the rocky mountains in a covered wagon, i'm fairly confident that on a daily basis their heart rate got well over 140 bpm. (note: i'm not saying i want to train for a marathon, i just want to continue running 3 miles even if it is a little slower than my regular pace).
*white wine with some cheese and crackers
*semi raw, uncooked food like medium rare steak with a nice glass of red wine or cookie dough or deli meat or slightly undercooked scrabbled eggs or a poached egg. something about salmonella and weaken immune systems. blah blah blah.
*touching my toes. ok i can still reach my shoelaces, but i foresee that being a problem very shortly and i don't want to lose mobility. peter likes to joke that no one tells me what i can and can't do which is true so this altering my life for my baby has been hard.
all that to say, i love my baby and i will do whatever it takes to have him healthy in my arms.
today is my halfway mark and time is moving both slow and fast. i think i'm ready to have my baby boy in my arms, but i know mentally and physically I'm far from prepared.
today we have our first midwifery appointment. picture old shed in the forest, with a wood burning stove and an old woman with buck teeth like Little House on the Prairie or even Anne of Green Gables time frame. Ok not really, midwifery has since advanced and even has a working facility in the University hospital. Of course women still have the option of giving birth at home, but we have chosen to give birth with midwifery center that is located in a hospital so we have some peace of mind in case anything abnormal occurs.
i love that women have so many options these days when giving birth and each woman has one that is perfect for them.
Here are belly pictures of 19.5 weeks, I'm almost at the the midpoint.
remember this post? it was the beginning thoughts on adoption. and quite recently there was this article titled "Adopted from Korea and in Search of Identity" in the ny times. the article has the perpections of multiple korean adoptees who quoted thoughts right out of my head about growing up asian in a white family. many felt they were white and surprised themselves when seeing their asian eyes in the mirror. and when faced with koreans who grew up in a korean family, there was a sense of outsider as well.
i wanted to be white and even now i catch myself thinking i'm not a minority.
i knew i was different at a very young age when kids in pre-school would pull their eyes back and yell "kong chong wong tong!" at me. i flinched when girls would mention my oriental black hair. and i have to admit telling people i was adopted makes me squirm.
going to south korea last august didn't really help resolve anything. it just confirmed i'm not really full korean either. often the locals would look at my puzzled as only english words could come from my mouth.
you might think that it was easier with 2 asian adopted brothers and 1 korean adopted sister to find an identity. honestly we were kids and just sort of went at it alone, never really mentioning out struggle with rasism. i thought rasism only had to do with blacks, that the unconfortable feeling i felt when someone would pull back their eyes was my issue and no one elses.
being a transracial adoptee is isolating. i felt like the only one, no one could relate to these identity issues, not my white parents or white friends. it was better to just try to fit in as quietly as possible.
now i continue to search for my identity as i am about it give birth to flesh of my flesh. i think about who am i. who of myself am i passing on to someone else? will he/she struggle as mixed korean and white? i hope not. i truly hope for a diverse and accepting upbringing.
today i'm 16 weeks and the fetus is the size of an avocado, i love avocados so this is a good stage. i was just reading "your pregnancy week by week" (thanks gretch for the books), but i accidentally flipped too far ahead and freaked myself out. i saw this picture:
now this picture freaks me out on so many levels. dear God my baby cannot possibly fit through my pelvis. and this will surely hurt. and my belly/baby has to get so much bigger than an avocado. and 10 centimeters is the size of my thigh (at present anyway) which is much much larger than where i usually shove a tampon. and i picture myself yelling during labor, "it won't come out!!!"
that's why you don't flip ahead class. enjoy the avocado stage. relish in still being able to move with ease. right now ignorance is bliss.
just got back from my first highlands mommies outing. highlands is the neighborhood i live in and there are about 2000 "mommies" in the club. my sub-group has women due in the first half of 2010. tonight there were 9 of us eating dinner, swapping pregnancy stories and who's due when and where we are delivering and what classes are you taking and have you registered... oh my!
i'm excited to have a built in support system as i wade through all things babies, but everyone must tread lightly. for as many mommies, there are just as many opinions and paths on this journey. we found that out by where each of us is delivering and how we are delivering. you might think that we all live in a 10 block radius that surely there would be an obvious hospital nearest our home. nope, i heard 6 different locations for delivery.
as we begin to have our babies, we will start play groups and outings and use the site to ask questions of other experienced moms. what a great resource!
this pic is from last week and i feel much bigger this week although some people keep telling me they can't even tell i'm pregnant. they have to be kidding, that's a large food belly. 
