Thursday, October 30, 2008

fear not or your hair will turn gray

it has started to happen. to be truthful, it started 4 or 5 years ago. i remember sitting in my communication class in college, bored out of my mind. so i start looking at my hair and among the mass of black, i found a "clear" hair. i showed it to my male classmate, who so kindly pointed out that it was no big deal, just a grey hair. i was shocked and apalled at the thought of having a gray hair. i didn't think much of it until i started finding more and more clear pigmented hairs. so i did what any sane woman in her mid twenties would do, began plucking.

remember that old wives tale, if someone give you a fright, your hair will turn grey? i would like to believe that tale or at least a revised version, that every time i worry or am scared of the unknown that a single hair turns gray. then something so superficial as hair color would be in my control.

but isn't that my real problem? i want to be in control of my life, the going-ons and what not. and the fear comes when the reins are out of my hand and i have to trust God for his best. i'm good at worrying, right now it's how will have shelter for ourselves in the future. where will peter and i live? can we afford our dreams? and if we can afford our dream house, should we spend our money on that material possession? is it my right to own a house? these are all questions i ask myself. so how do i live delibrately with or without gray hair?

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