Tuesday, March 10, 2009

tension's tight grip

lately i've had this terrible tension in my chest. i think it's stress related, but i don't know what's causing this internal knot. i mean my husband got an in town gig (well with a bit of travel until june, but the end is in sight) and that's something to celebrate. maybe it's the reshuttling of life and schedules and how we interact with each other. don't get me wrong, i LOVE having my husband home, but i got into a routine. not a good routine, i'll admit, actually an awful routine. i watched a lot of tv and moped around and felt sorry for myself.

the grip on my chest has loosened ever so slightly which might be due to my ability to run again. running is my outlet, my sanctuary of sorts where i pound the pavement and release stress and my brain just wonders. i push my body to the limits sometimes just to remind myself that pain feels good, it makes me feel alive.

it loosens as we realign our lives to each other and spend time with good friends. and so i breath deep as i loosen my grip on control, status, future plans, money, materialistic ideas, american culture, economic worries. open hands...

1 comment:

Gretchen Crocker said...

There is an adjustment to hubby being home...I tell Matt he ruins my groove.